One Final I Need You
by Ashura
Summary: The sequel to 'Huddled Together...' Hilde drags Duo back to face Heero and make peace with the past.


One Final I Need You

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DISCLAIMER: I don't own the G-boys, though I did ask for them for Christmas.

WARNINGS: Shounen ai. Yep, that's it. Yaoi hints.

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"Hilde...where are we going? Heero can't possibly live here." Duo shifted nervously, checked one more time to make sure the car door was locked, rolled down the window, rolled it back up again, and flopped his head back onto the headrest of his seat. The sensible part of him was already regretting his decision to let her take him to Heero. The non-sensible part of him wasn't thinking at all, just fluttering around in his stomach and making it hard for him to think.

"He doesn't," Hilde confirmed, reaching over to reassuringly squeeze his hand. "But he'll be here. He's always here."

Having exhausted all the controls in the car he was allowed to touch, Duo moved on to fiddling with the radio. "You've kept up on this, haven't you?"

Hilde batted his hand away and flipped the radio off. "Of course I have. Unlike you, I communicate with my friends more than once every six or seven months. If you weren't chasing empty dreams all over the galaxy, you would have known it too. You might even have gotten this over with by now."

Duo gave up trying to find outlet for his nervousness and flopped back into the seat like a dead jellyfish. He had about that much spine, too. "You really think this is a good idea?"

Hilde just looked at him.

"Yeah, yeah," Duo mumbled, and flipped the radio on again. This time, she let him leave it that way.

Hilde eased the car off into a side street and stopped. "Down on the dock," she said simply, pointing. "You'll see him."

Duo sat.

Hilde gave his shoulder a push. "Duo. Go. If things don't go as well as I think they will, call me and I'll come get you."

Duo glowered. "If things don't go as well as you think they will, Hilde, you'll be making my funeral plans. This is Heero we're talking about."

Hilde seemed unfazed by the prospect of Duo's imminent demise. "Go."

Still grumbling, and with his stomach fluttering like he'd eaten a tub of Mexican jumping beans, Duo went.

True to Hilde's prediction, Heero was easy to find. The former pilot stood on the dock, leaning over the railing and staring out at the water. He was dressed in blue jeans and the green tank top that to Duo's knowledge he'd been birthed in, and the braided boy felt the butterflies in his stomach clench rapidly together at the sight of him, and the painful memory of their last meeting.

__

"Heero." Duo shifted uncomfortably, the ease and smile faded from his face. "There's something I have to tell you."

If Heero noticed how awkward Duo felt, he gave no sign of it. He was as cold and flat as ever, even though they'd won and there was no more need for it. "What?"

"I--I love you." Duo stared at the floor--he couldn't face him, couldn't meet those intoxicating cobalt eyes. He should have at least tried--then he would have seen the blow coming, had a chance to block it. He didn't. Heero's fist slammed into the centre of his face, shattering cartilage and bone. Blood spurted from both of Duo's nostrils, flooding his face. When he did look up, all the hurt and betrayal of his entire life was mirrored in his violet eyes. Holding his hands to his face, he walked away from Heero.

He never looked back.

Despite agonising about it the entire ride there, he still wasn't sure how to actually begin this meeting that he'd alternately dreamed of and rejected for almost four years. He was almost relieved when he saw Heero start at the sound of his footsteps. Trust the Perfect Soldier to hear him coming.

Even though he had no idea what to expect of this meeting, he was utterly unprepared for the reaction he got. Heero turned from the railing, saw him--and froze, like a deer caught in headlights, his azure eyes wide and startled.

"Duo?" His tone was hope and disbelief and something that might have been longing. One word--his name, spoken in that thick, fluid tenor that he'd fallen asleep lonely and dreaming of hearing--and Duo knew that for good or ill, he was lost all over again.

Heero seemed paralysed. They stood there in awkward silence, staring at each other. Duo's heartbeat was thrumming in his chest, shaking his entire body. Only years of practice allowed him to force his body into an easy posture and bring the shadow of his old smile to his face. "Hey, Heero. Long time no see."

Heero nodded slowly, as if his brain were slowly processing the nuances of Duo's greeting as well as the words. "How've you been?" he managed finally.

Duo shrugged. He just didn't have it in him to pretend. "I've been better....You?"

Heero looked down at bug-eaten wood of the dock, shuffling his feet. "He runs, he hides, but he'll never tell a lie," he muttered under his breath. When he looked up again, his entire expression was easier. "I want to talk to you."

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Well, Duo thought, _at least that's a start. Heero wanting to talk? Apparently I'm not the only one who's changed._ He nodded. "So do I. That's why I'm here."

Heero nodded. "Not here...come back to my place?"

As if, after coming this far, Duo were likely to turn and run now. "Sure. Lead the way."

He was completely unprepared for the squalor in which Heero lived. The boy's apartment was more than a mess, it looked as though he hadn't ever unpacked from moving into it, despite the utility receipts pinned to the refrigerator that proclaimed he'd been there at least six months. He had a sofa, but it looked like a college student's castaway, and its only companion was a sickly green armchair with some unidentifiable stain in the middle of its battered cushion. The layers of grit caked onto the stove proclaimed it hadn't been used in the recordable past, and just in case this were doubtable, a rubber garbage can was overflowing with microwave ramen cups. 

One thing was definite, then, Duo decided. Heero had not had any female company in a very, very long time.

Heero kicked aside a collection of plastic grocery bags and flopped onto the couch, gazing around his living room as if he were realising for the first time, now that he was faced with company, how dirty the place was. Duo, whether wisely or politely, elected not to comment on it. He just found a clear spot on the floor and sat down, curling his legs under him.

Now that they were both there, Heero seemed to have lost the impetus for whatever he'd intended to say. "You want a beer?" he offered awkwardly.

Duo nodded. "Sure. That'd be nice." Besides, alcohol might just loosen them both up a bit, and while Duo wasn't sure it was the smartest thing he could do, he was getting tired of trying to control the jumping-bean butterflies in his stomach that kept telling him to either jump on Heero and kiss him or make a quick break for the front door. Heero stood and walked past him, fumbling around in the fridge for a minute, and returned to join Duo on the floor.

"Here...." Duo took the cold can and opened it, but he didn't drink it. 

"Thanks," he muttered. This was getting more and more uncomfortable by the second.

"Duo?" Heero, never a man of many words, seemed to have an even smaller vocabulary than Duo remembered. Of course, he wasn't talking a whole lot himself, and that was far more strange.

"Yeah?"

For the third time in one afternoon, Duo was unprepared. He wasn't ready for Heero's fingers to brush against his cheek on their way to stroke along the line of the nose that four years ago they'd shattered. His vision blurred, he forgot how to breathe, and his world shrank to the miniscule universe of those fingertips touching his face.

"Duo," Heero said again, softer. "I'm so sorry." When Duo didn't answer--because he still couldn't breathe--he continued. "I shouldn't have--I shouldn't have hurt you, any way, ever, but when I thought of what I'd done to your face--"

Duo's body regained control of its more necessary functions at last. "It's okay," he murmured, his voice husky. "It's all put back together now, see?"

"It's more than that," said Heero, shaking his head slowly, his fingers cupping Duo's face as if he were afraid the braided boy would disappear. It took a moment, but it took a gathering of courage before he could voice his next confession. "I'm sorry for not coming after you."

Duo was still recovering from the many surprises this day had dealt him. "It's okay, he stammered. It was his instinctive reaction to hearing an apology. "I probably wouldn't have been too keen on seeing you anyway. I saw--" his voice faltered, but he forced himself to finish. "I saw your wedding on TV."

Heero's expression darkened and his hand fell away. "Well...shit. Guess I should've figured you would." He rocked back onto his knees, fumbling for words. "It didn't last," he finished lamely.

Duo gestured around the room. "I kinda figured. No woman I've ever met would live like this."

Heero just shrugged, plainly unhappy with the direction the conversation was taking. "We're both happier this way." He looked around and added, almost defiantly, "Yes, happier, even in this place." There was a note of finality in his voice that indicated the discussion, like the marriage, was over. "I'd rather hear about you."

Duo winced. "Only if you want to hear about me being pathetic. All I've done is bum around."

Heero nodded. "That's what I've heard. Did you find it?"

Duo blinked, confused. "Find what?"

"What you were looking for."

Oh. _That_. Duo shook his head. "Nope...never did. Starting to think it just isn't out there." The rest of what the one-time object of his affections--hell, who was he kidding, also the _current_ object--had said sunk in abruptly. "You heard? You were keeping tabs on me?"

Heero tried to look innocent. It was not an expression he'd ever been good at. "I asked around sometimes," he said, refusing to look at Duo while his lips moved wordlessly. Duo just sat in silence and watched him, wondering if perhaps his old friend was going crazy.

"Duo...." If there was one word Heero had seriously overused in the past hour, that was it. But it was hard to be annoyed with it when he'd been dreaming of hearing it for so long. Four years ago, he would have melted at the sound of his name on the other's tongue, let the simple taste of the word caress his skin, let its memory lull him to sleep at night.

But that Duo had stopped doing much of anything once Heero's fist had connected with his face. There was armour around his heart now, stronger than any Gundam ever built. He wanted to forgive. He wanted a reason to forget. But damned if he was going to drop his guard again.

"Would you--would you tell me that again?" Heero asked suddenly. His voice sounded younger than it had all day, younger than Duo had ever remembered it. His strength was more suited to 'omae o korosu,' not asking for--Duo didn't even have to ask what 'that' was, and he suddenly lacked the motivation to pretend.

"It depends," he said heavily, honestly. "If I do, are you going to punch me in the face?" There was more bitterness in his voice than he'd intended to put there. Blasted subconscious was at work again.

Heero winced, but accepted the accusation stoically. "No. No--I'd do--something else. But I'm really not good at this, Duo, I want to ask if you still feel the same way, if you _could_ still feel the same way--and I don't know how."

The armour around Duo's heart was showing signs of severe wear. No fortress was safe, after all, from the Perfect Soldier. And in his hands, Duo had always been defenseless. "Always did," he said, the weight of the words leaving his soul as soon as they were said, "Always will."

The relief that flooded Heero's features brought an ache to Duo's tightening chest. He barely had a chance to notice it before Heero's arms were around him, his old friend's face buried in his shoulder, murmuring a repetitious litany of "I'm sorry, Duo, I'm sorry...."

Duo slipped his fingers beneath Heero's chin and tilted his face up. "Hey...I said it was all right," he whispered--realising with some surprise that it really was. "Is this what you meant you were gonna do if I told you I love you again?"

Heero smiled. Usually, when Duo remembered Heero smiling, it was really a smirk, or a sneer, just something that turned up the corners of his mouth but had no real joy or humour behind it. But this--this was a real smile, it reached all the way to those shining cobalt eyes, and it was all for _him_.

"Not exactly," Heero murmured, reaching up to caress Duo's cheek again. "I was thinking something more like this."

Heero kissed him.

If Heero punching him had made Duo's vision blur and the world spin, this set off firecrackers along every inch of his skin. All the dreams he'd ever had of this moment crumbled into dust as every fibre of his body and soul ached with longing for the young man who held him so close. It lasted an eternity but was over far too soon, leaving them facing each other with barely an inch between them, their breath coming in a hard fast rhythm matched only by the pounding tattoo of their hearts.

"Stay with me," Heero requested softly.

"As if you could get rid of me now," Duo answered.

There was no need to say anything for a long time after that.


End file.
